Where did I leave off?

Look, a house! It’s my house. I bought a house. What!?!

I’m a planner and I was planning on buying a house- at some point- but not in the middle of a pandemic, and not in small town Minnesota- Saint Peter, population under 12,000 humans. It isn’t just a bump in the road- it’s a change of course. I’m good with bumps, but changing course means changing the itinerary. When you’ve been imagining a particular itinerary for years, it takes some time to make a whole new itinerary. Not that I haven’t written quite a number of itineraries in my life.

Good thing COVID totally wiped my schedule clean- how convenient!

There is some sarcasm present, but I feel like I’m being very honest when I say that while I’m apprehensive about moving to a small town, this isn’t the first time I’ve carted myself off into the middle of nowhere. I grew up in the middle of nowhere, lived there for 18 years of my life, so this is nothing new, except that it was not the plan.

My old itinerary included performances and time in the theater, teaching at a studio, working full time five days a week, taking a few classes in person once and a while. It also included saving money for a future house, continuing to live in my apartment, being in that place where everyone knew where to find me. My itinerary included being in the middle of the action, pushing forward with balancing everything, and finding those rare moments to relax.

My new itinerary includes three instead of five days a week at my current job, leaving two days open for me to dance in the comfort of my new second bedroom. I’ve been spending the time not waking up before the sun rises (what a luxury), planning out my dance classes during the middle of the day instead of at night when I’m tired, taking classes from others remotely because I have time, and creating a little bit here and there. When I’m at work, I’m happy to be there, and when I’m not I’m happy to be home. It’s a totally different pace. The thing that I miss the most, I think, is the ritual of the theater and having the accountability of a goal to work towards. So I imagine that they’re in the future.

This winter will be dedicated to learning to lean into the time I’m given to to grow and understand instead of continuing to act. Not much else to say except you’ll find me at work or in my bedroom dancing on my tiny board until things start to turn around…